My Symphony

There is no money left in my bank account.
I lost my pants.
I don't want you to know what I do (all of you).

You! I do not want you to know we kissed, I do not want you to know that I pulled you shivering out of the shower.
Cold white freckles shivering.
I live I live I live in symphonies.
I pulled you out and from your boyfriend's arms
I picked you up frail one and I combed your hair frail one.
With one hand I help your pointy chin up, the other cleaned the walls.
I cleaned the colors the smells the what-I-did-not-want-to see-again off the walls and held your small face out of the water.
Slowly I held you and put my shirt on your cold sad body.
Slowly I held you up and gave you my pants.
I see what you are and I live I live I live in symphonies.

You unconscious I give you my symphony and you will not remember.

You! I cannot tell you how I hear your voice and say your words.
You do see how I move fawn mold around you
but do you know why?
I live I live I live in symphonies and you never need to ask for I will,
I want to be, I am.
You are gone far away from me and is it possible to be more in love with you knowing that I can never have you?
I gave you my symphony and you are the one who has heard it.
You are the only one who has seen me in my primal movement
my primal thought
like spiderwebs
you
me
like a symphony.